Now begin the days, months, years (hopefully not!) of crying, diaper blowouts, night wakes, upset tummies, spit up, teething, more blowouts, and very little sleep for Mom and Dad. Sounds super exciting, right!? We didn’t prepare much for after birth, so a few things came as a little surprise. I also had a VERY difficult baby who was constantly screaming, and I mean SCREAMING. She did not have cute little puppy whimpers or fusses. She screamed for 3 days straight after birth. From this difficult experience, I have compiled a few things that may help to prepare you for these first few weeks and maybe even comfort you that baby is normal.
Pain and soreness: You just gave birth, so of course things are sore and tender “down there”. Just rest, take it easy, and slide onto every seat. Don’t be afraid to go “number 2” because it has to be done! It’s worse if you hold it in, so take a stool softener and take your time. Don’t sit on the toilet for too long though, because the pressure may make your stitches ache. They will heal quickly and feel better soon. What really came as a surprise to me was how sore my arms and back were! This was probably because I had been holding my legs up for 3 ½ hours straight the day before as I pushed. I could barely straighten out my arm because my biceps were so sore! Another new mom recently told me that she experienced the same thing. There is nothing to really treat or prevent this, just expect it and stretch out your arms after!
Bleeding: You can bleed anywhere for 2-6 weeks (or more) after birth. The first few are the heaviest, and then you can usually switch to a heavy pad and your underwear. When Piper was about two weeks old, I went to the bathroom normally and came back into the room where she was with my husband. My bleeding had really slowed, and I thought I would be done soon. Suddenly, I felt like something squishy was against my pad. I went back into the bathroom and passed what appeared to be a HUGE blood clot. I was so shocked that I called my husband in to look at it (they become numb to these things after awhile). We were concerned and called our nurse immediately. I didn’t want to risk hemorrhaging- if that’s what this was! Our nurse quickly informed that that it was probably just the “scab” from where the placenta was attached to my uterus- who knew! Apparently, it is common to pass this as sort of a large clot 10-14 days after delivery. Since I had no other bleeding and no pain, this is exactly what it was. I had never heard this before, so I will remember for next time!
Also, your bleeding changing throughout the weeks. Once you move to pads, it will continue to slow down and even change color from red to yellow. The yellow stuff doesn’t smell so good either. You will probably have that for a couple weeks, and can switch to a smaller pad and sometimes even a pantyliner. Just don’t expect it to stop suddenly and get caught without any sort of pad!
Losing Weight: I couldn’t wait to get on the scale when I got home from the hospital. It had been 3 days since I had delivered, and although I feel a little puffy and swollen soon, I wanted to see my results! Bad idea. I had birthed a 7.9 lb baby, a 2-3 lb placenta, and what did I get? An 8 pound weight loss. UGH. I was discouraged! But I tried to remember that I was pumped full of liquids and medicine, and it would just take time. Less than two weeks later, I was down 25 lbs! It will come off because your body no longer needs it, and breastfeeding helps. Don’t try to lose weight right away, just focus on baby and a healthy diet. You may lose it right away like those lucky moms, and it may take a little work later on. I’m still working on about 10 lbs myself, but I refuse to stress over it!
Sweating: This came as a surprise: I woke up in the middle of the night in the hospital pouring sweat and completely soaked through my clothes! Our room was about 65 degrees. CRAZY! I am the coldest person I know, and here I am sweating like a pig. My husband, on the other hand, was so cold he could hardly sleep. This is caused by your body releasing hormones and toxins after birth. It is uncomfortable, but natural. It also doesn’t help to have a little 8lb heater on your chest at all times. This will decrease, but it may not go away. Still, at 5 months old and in the dead of winter, sometimes I wake up sweating. I hear this is pretty common from other moms though!
Nipple soreness: If you are a first-time mother, this may be your biggest hurdle (besides pregnancy, delivery, crying baby... ok, just add it to the list). That beautiful baby comes out, and then it latches to your nipple, sucking and pulling like there is no tomorrow! OUCH! It will get better. They get sore and sometimes even crack and bleed, but again, this is normal! Just keep pushing through and apply nipple cream liberally in between feedings. I love Earth Mama, Angel Baby brand that you can find at Sprouts. It was so soft and relieving, and I could leave it on to nurse. I applied it after every feeding and whenever they felt sore for the first few weeks. You cannot overuse, since it is safe for baby. Sometimes the Lansinoh creams are so thick, that it hurts just trying to apply it and spread it! Not worth it. And they also had these neat rubber patches at the hospital that were cold and felt good, but I found out later that I needed to rinse myself off before each feeding! Again, not worth it. It’s only a few weeks before your soreness will go away, and you should continue to nurse as often as possible!
Nursing: It’s hard. Let me repeat, IT IS HARD. But so worth it for both you and baby. There are so many benefits for both of you, but we’ll discuss that later. If you plan on nursing, make sure to commit and not give up when it is difficult. In the beginning, baby does not have great mouth muscles to suckle effectively, and it takes them awhile to figure it out and strengthen their suck. Be sure to nurse ON DEMAND in the beginning to ensure a good milk supply. I think I failed at this, because I didn’t think my newborn could eat every hour! Daniel kept saying “do you think she’s hungry?” and I thought, no way! I think I was wrong. This helps baby to grow and your milk to increase. Pump any excess to help. For the first few days, you will only make colostrum- a thick, yellow fluid that is very high calorie and fatty for baby. You don’t make a lot, but baby’s tummy is only the size of a cherry! It can be a rough couple of days, but your milk will come in soon and then baby will be fully satisfied. Just stick with it as long as possible!
Eating and Drinking: When you are bleary-eyed, tired and busy with a new baby, you often forget to eat. It is important to eat though, so stock your fridge and pantry with one-handed foods that you can grab and go with. After I delivered, my friend Abbey brought me a bag full of blueberries, strawberries, muffins, pineapple, and a few other one-handed goodies. This was awesome! I could hold baby in one hand but grab a quick snack. Make healthy muffins ahead of time and freeze them. Have fruits and bags of nuts. You won’t be sorry!
Sleeping: Ahh, here is the big one... you get very little sleep! Before Piper was born, Daniel said to me “she’s a newborn, they sleep like 22 hours a day, right? What’s the big deal?” He was wrong. A friend recently sent me a study that states that parents lose between 450-700 hours of sleep within a baby’s first year! That’s a lot! They get up often to eat and newborn DO NOT usually fall back to sleep on their own (unless you won the lottery and got a good one). They tend to need to be bounced, rocked, or shushed back to sleep. Piper would wake up every 2 hours or so, and we would spend 1-2 hours eating, diaper changing, and getting her back to sleep. Around the clock. It’s a true saying to SLEEP WHEN THEY SLEEP. For just a few weeks, your house can be a little dirty. Maybe your Mom can do the dishes. If you are not rested, you will find it difficult to meet the needs of your baby. Expect them to wake often, and the first time they sleep 5 or 6 hours, you will be thrilled! From what I hear, lots of babies will start to sleep in longer stretches around 2 months (not all). You’ll get to a point where baby sleeps better and you also get used to night wakes (and don’t mind them!), and you will feel human again soon.
Upset tummy: Piper was the queen of the upset tummy. Because they can’t talk to you, it’s a guessing game as to why they are screaming! We finally figured out it was her tummy. This is very common because babies are brand new to the world and their bodies have never digested before! Their shiny new equipment is being broken in! A few good things to always have on hand is Mylicon and Gripe Water. You can get these two things pretty much everywhere (Target for me...surprised?). They are just a little medicine to help break down gas bubbles in baby’s tummy. Piper didn’t love Mylicon, but she took Gripe Water just fine. Gripe Water is all-natural and usually is a mix of ginger, chamomile, and a few other things. If neither of these work (which they didn’t for Piper most of the time), try jumping to a homeopathic remedy called Cocyntal. I swear by this stuff! For a couple of weeks, Piper had to have this either during or after every feeding. It comes in little tubes and you just twist off the top and squirt in their mouths. Since it is such a thin liquid, it absorbs before they can really choke on it. These remedies can also work on Colic!
Baby peeing and pooping: Baby will poop more than pee in the beginning, and then it will switch. The first couple poops are the thick stuff, Meconium. I was fortunate and never had to change one of these because my husband changed diapers for the whole first week! Awesome. Baby should have 1 dirty diaper every 24 hours and a wet diaper for how manys old they are (1 diaper on day 1, 2 on day 2, etc.). Baby’s poop will go from black and gradually lighten to green and then to yellow in about 4-7 days. Yay! This is when midwives advise that it is safe to take baby out. They suggest waiting until then so your baby’s immune system can build a bit, you can establish good breastfeeding, and allow your body to heal for a few days. FOR BABY GIRLS: It is also possible for baby girls to have a mini period- that’s right! They can, but don’t always, have a little bit of blood in their diapers once or twice in the first week. This is from the surge of hormones from birth. Don’t freak out! I also know a couple newborn girls that lactated a bit, again from the hormones.
Bathing: Baby does not need to be bathed often. Their little skin is still new and sensitive, and bathing too much can dry it out. Try bird baths for a while- wetting a cloth and washing their head (while their body is swaddled), and then each little body part quickly. You also want to be careful of the umbilical cord as it heals. Once it falls off, you can bathe baby regularly. Piper didn’t like the bath, so we took her into the shower with us! She loved it.
Umbilical Cord: It usually does not hurt them, it can just look yucky. If you think it needs to be clean, use warm water on a cloth and gently pull the skin away around it to clean. It may bleed and get on their clothes. If they don’t seem in pain, it is fine. Let it air out a bit to help it dry. If needed, you can also use a q-tip and rubbing alcohol to clean it. It will usually fall off within the first two weeks or so. Then baby’s belly button will be so beautiful!
Pacifiers and Bottles: All of the experts say to wait at least 4 weeks to introduce a pacifier or bottle to baby so that you can establish good breastfeeding habits. Piper was so fussy, that we introduced a pacifier while still in the hospital to help calm her. She still breastfed well. We introduced the bottle at about 4 weeks with pumped breast milk. She did great! Don’t wait for too much longer after 4 weeks because baby can get too used to nursing and look at you like a crazy person if you try to feed her with a bottle. Piper now takes both easily- it doesn’t matter how you want to feed her, she just wants food! I don’t ever think it’s a bad idea to use a bottle, because it gives you more flexibility to be away a longer period of time, and allows Dad or someone else some bonding time. Also, in case of emergency, they can still be fed! When Piper was 4 weeks old I got extremely sick with the flu and couldn’t be near her for 24 hours. I also wasn’t producing well because I was so dehydrated. I am so thankful that I had pumped milk and that she was comfortable with a bottle, because my husband was on baby duty the entire time!
And lastly, please do whatever you feel comfortable doing. This is YOUR baby, and you are now a mommy. Always take what everyone else says with a grain of salt, and feel confident in making the best decisions for you and your family. After all, this is your job from now on! Good luck, and welcome to Mommyhood.
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