The Do's and Don'ts of Preparing for Birth

Getting ready to deliver a sweet little one soon? Congratulations! Here is a little list of things that I have discovered to both remember and avoid during this time. These are from my personal experience, so add your own if these don’t apply to you!

DON’T: Watch baby stories on tv! I can’t stand these stories on television (even though I love birth stories), because I feel like they would only scare me more! I refused to watch them in the beginning of my pregnancy, and then I slowly watched a few here and there (it’s the only decent morning tv!), but I am still not a big fan. When I did watch them, I only allowed myself to watch the ones that seemed to follow along with my birth plan. For example, I wanted a natural and unmedicated birth, so I usually only tuned into the water births, home births, and natural births at the hospital. These were only good because I could see that other women could do it and live through it! I always avoided watching c-sections and epidurals, because that was not in the “plan” for me. Positive thinking is an awesome exercise when preparing, whether it goes your way or not!

DO: Read birth stories. I LOVE reading birth stories. I feel like I am right there in the moment with the mama and I can see everything she sees and feel everything she feels. They are also incredibly detailed and transparent, allowing us to imagine ourselves birthing similarly and prepare our minds. Because there is so much open emotion in birth stories, the reader can share in the heartache of plans changing quickly and the obstacles of delivering a baby safely, no matter how it has to be done. This can help us to prepare for the unexpected, and rest in the fact that other mamas have gone through the same thing, and they still came out on the other side.

DON’T: Be flippant about your labor and delivery. If you don’t know anything about it,
RESEARCH! With the c-section rate so high now (and many of these are unnecessary), it is convenient for doctors to just schedule a date and time and go on with their day. Now, there is nothing wrong with c-sections, but if you have shown no signs of labor, your baby is probably not ready! If you have labored and tried everything to get baby out without success, a c-section may be necessary. The most important thing is to KNOW YOUR OPTIONS and be educated going into your birth. That way you can can make proper decisions in the moment, because you already understand what they are and what it means for you and baby.

DO: Take a birth class. There are a few different options, so find one that fits for you and your plan. My sister took the Bradley Method classes, and she loved it. It’s a little costly and 12 weeks long, but not only did she achieve her natural and unmedicated birth in the hospital (twice), she also developed lifelong friendships with other expectant parents. Daniel and I took the classes offered at our birth center- Breastfeeding, Signs and Wonders of Labor, Bringing Home Mom and Baby, and The Birth Journey. We felt so prepared once we were through with our classes. Even if you plan on getting an epidural, the information is worth the classes. The Birth Journey is a one-day crash course in what to expect during labor. Not only is in interactive and informative, but it acts almost like marriage counseling in bringing the couple together to rely on each other and find strength in each other during labor. It was life-changing for us. Please contact me if you want more information about this class.

DON’T: Get induced. Obviously there are certain circumstances that may force you to induce labor, but if it can be avoided, it should be. If your body is not spontaneously going into labor, it is likely that your body and baby are not ready. many women, especially first time mamas, go past their due date. Although this may not be ideal for you and be relatively uncomfortable, it is not considered a risk until you are 42 weeks. Let baby cook and enjoy your alone time for a bit longer!

DO: Research options for natural induction. Once you reach 40 weeks, it is usually safe to try some home remedies...think sex, walking, squats, red raspberry tea, castor oil, herbs, etc...The good thing about these remedies is that they will not “put” you into labor, but they will give impending labor a little “push” to start if your body is ready. Plus, it gives you something to do. Talk to other moms about what they did, but do not expect their tips to always work for you! One mom told me that she got a backrub from a specific person and went into labor a couple days later. I did the exact same thing, and it was still 2 weeks more...But please, DO NOT do anything without your doctor’s or midwife’s consent. Their job is to keep both of you safe and well, so heed their advice.

DON’T: Give up. You have prepared your mind and body for this event, and YOU CAN DO IT! Like I have said before, contractions are not the problem. Anyone can have contractions and successfully work through them. It is the exhaustion from hours of contractions that break you down. As long as you feel good and baby is doing well, keep pushing! You have to keep trying to have the birth of your dreams. And if God sees fit to change the plans, then so be it. Rest in knowing that you did everything in your power!

DO: Try different positions. If you can avoid laying on your back the entire time, get up and move! Labor standing, sitting on the toilet or a ball, on your hands and knees, in your husbands arms, on the floor, squatting in a doorframe, over the counter, etc. I can’t even count how many hours I walked around the island in my kitchen during labor. But it was monotonous, and I needed that to focus on my contractions. Do what feels right and progresses labor.

DON’T: Be close-minded. If you have read my birth story, you can see all the changes I  went through and how it was not the ideal birth that I had planned. If you are not open to change, you will feel like you are being dragged through your labor, not like you are in control. You may also experience disappointment and sadness afterwards, because it was so unlike what you imagined. It’s ok to mourn not having the birth you planned, but it is important that you know you tried everything in your power first, but the most important thing was getting the baby out safely. If you succeed in that, you have done your job well.

DO: Hire a doula! This was the best thing for us during our labor. Our doula helped me to labor at home, the birth center, and the hospital. She didn’t leave my side (or really the building) for 2 days straight! These women are godsends, and they really know what they are doing. The can provide emotional support for both you and your husband and give your hubby a break when needed. They do everything from massaging, to laboring positions, to praying, to feeding you! My doula definitely snuck me some crackers and protein shakes when I was laboring at the hospital. They can usually help with breastfeeding and postpartum questions too. She was also a GREAT mediator between me and the hospital staff. Daniel and I knew nothing about hospital births, because it was out of our plan! Our doula not only knew the procedures, but she knew the staff! She helped to explain what they were doing, what they were giving me, and when I needed to speak up about something unnecessary. She was my voice when I had no more energy and she made decisions for us when we were clueless. Since doulas understand the female body and the natural progression of labor and birth, they can make excellent decisions about what may help and what may not. Their ultimate goal is to help mom achieve the birth experience that she desires, and if those plans change, she is there for damage control. We had Dianne Hamre and Kelly Sunshine, who are both fabulous. Look them up or ask me for more information about them!

DON’T: Expect any of it to be easy. Labor is hard work, that’s why it’s called LABOR. Delivering is hard work. You can push for 3 ½ hours straight (proof!). Recovery is hard work, no matter which way you deliver. And finally, a newborn is hard work.

DO: Believe that you can do it. Women have delivered babies from the beginning of time, and it has worked! Prepare your mind for a long and tough journey, and if it happens to be faster or easier, what a sweet surprise! If we always prepare for it to be hard work, then it will not surprise us when it is! Expect to have questions and need help during recovery... we spend so much time focusing on labor and delivery, that everyone goes into recovery clueless! A little bit about it...it includes a lot of soreness, unable to sit or walk well, lots of blood, herbal baths, and trying to rest while you’re adjusting to baby’s needs. That first shower is a doozy! But more on that later... God also hand-picked you to raise your baby, so he has provided you will all the tools and love necessary to do so!

Please contact me with any questions or concerns with this post. I have no desire to offend anyone or make them question themselves, this is merely my own revelations from my experience!