Don’t get me wrong, I love being Piper’s mommy. But thinking about the fact that she is all mine and it is my responsibility to raise her well... that can feel incredibly overwhelming if I dwell on it for too long!
During her nap today, I indulged and watched a little bit of Grey’s Anatomy (yes!). Right before my little one awoke, the episode ended with Meredith Grey saying something that hit me right between my eyes...
“You think that true love is the only thing that can crush your heart...the thing that will take your life and light it up...or destroy it. Then you become a mother.”
Wow. This was exactly how I had felt. Already, motherhood had felt both empowering and painful all at the same time. People had quoted Elizabeth Stone to me before when she said “Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body”- but I didn’t experience this until today. I realized that this is how I felt on Sunday when my husband (for the first time!) took our 5 month old to the park for a few hours so I could rest (and kick the stomach flu). She was away from me, from our home, and I had no idea what she was doing at that exact moment! Strange huh?
I had been away from her before, but always to run errands or go on a date- accomplishing something or focusing on other things. But she had never left ME home alone. My heart was walking around outside of my body for the first time.
And this is what it means to be a Mother. But that’s okay. I will take that excitement and heartache because I know that she was created for and is living for a bigger purpose. I simply get to love her and guide her on her own journey. Well, Amen.
“And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work”- 2 Corinthians 9:8
<3 being a mommy is the best worst job in the WHOLE world :)
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