Wednesday, January 7, 2015

What's Your Love?

My husband and I celebrated our 6th anniversary this past weekend. Yay! And by celebrate, I mean we dropped the kid off for an hour and a half and went out for some pasta. Then back to get the kid into bed on time and nurse my husband's cold that was getting worse.

Our anniversaries used to be a little more magical. For the first years (before we became parents) we planned long weekend getaways and made a big deal of it. I am such an experience person that gifts don't cut it. I would rather spend our money creating memories and going on adventures together. As this year rolled around, we talked about getting away, but with the busy past year we had with surgery, moving, holidays trips and holidays, it just didn't seem possible. And this year, I was okay with that.

A few weeks ago, a friend of mine posted this on her Facebook page, and it was interesting to see some of the responses. What do YOU think?

Here were some that I liked:

"We have boring, comfortable, secure, married love. It suits us."

"And sometimes mad love looks boring to outsiders, but that kind is real & forged from steel & won't come apart when conditions turn mundane."

"I don't know about the mad, passionate part, but I agree that love is never, should never, be mediocre. Is God mediocre? No, he's extraordinary. And God IS love."

"I think this is why marriages fail. Marriages have ebbs and flows of passion...what marriage would make it through the infancy stage of raising children or times of extreme stress if marriage is compared to a Nicholas Spark's novel??"

Yep, that last comment hits the nail on the head for our current life! I also loved the comment about having a "boring, comfortable love". So before you ask what I think, I'll just tell you. That's why you're here, right?

First of all, one of the women pointed out that we tend to always see the word "passion" and think "sex". I don't think that's the point here. I think passion can be measured in many different ways. I agree that love should not be mediocre, but again, who is measuring this and how are they doing it? 

Since LOVE is more of a commitment than a feeling, I guess each person can define it for themselves. For us, our love has been new, exciting, old, boring, sexy, not-so-sexy, easy, tough, longing, agitated, running on empty and overflowing. We enjoy sitting on the couch at night and watching America's Funniest Home Videos. We like to get take-out and walk around the lake. We visit the airport sometimes to people watch (more on this later). Sometimes we take trips. Sometimes we talk late into the night and some nights we just sit together in comfortable silence (he probably prefers these nights). 

We have come to love our marriage for what it is and where we are in life. We both feel secure and confident in our relationship. Some days it is passionate, and some days it could be considered mediocre. It's just where we are and who we are.

From the moment I began thinking about marrying Daniel, I was so excited to grow old with him and I can already picture us old and wrinkly. I love seeing old men with bald heads and teary eyes, and I can't wait to see my husband like this! And I can't wait to look back on the 50 years we've had together to get there. 

So no matter what comment you agree with above, I hope that you have (or you are actively working on) a love that you are proud of.