Bringing Home Baby #2- by Jennifer Heise

 A good friend of mine from high school (so long ago now), recently had her second baby. Jennifer and I have kept in touch, and I asked her to write a little post about what it was like to bring home her second daughter. All of us "first timers" are so curious about how we will do this AGAIN! Here it is...

Both girls are asleep and for the first time all day long, I can breathe and catch up on the last season of Gossip Girl. Raising a child is one of the hardest things that I have ever done, however raising two leaves no time for anything non-baby related. And because I'll be waking up a few times tonight, let's cut to the chase shall we?

Bringing home baby number two was no easy feat. We prepped in every way possible leading up to the day that our little Eladee was born. We pulled out all of Rilynn's old baby clothes, the bouncer, crib, changing table and even re-read some sections of "What to Expect when you're expecting." Of all the things that we did, I think the most important was preparing our little Rilynn for the arrival of her new baby sister. She knew there was a baby in my tummy, we practiced by holding her pretend babies and trying to stay quiet while they were "sleeping." She was thrilled by the time Eladee finally arrived. All babies are different, but there are things that have worked and not worked in our family and all babies are different, but bringing home our second baby was a complete difference from when we brought home our first.

Immediately, I felt overwhelmed. Rilynn is two years old and in her case the "terrible two's" are an
understatement. She cries at the drop of a dime over EVERYTHING, especially when she doesn't get her way. This wakes up the baby constantly and leaves me feeling frustrated and moody. I balance my days by feedings, putting the baby to sleep and then playing with Rilynn or reading her books to keep giving her the attention that she needs. After Eladee arrived, Rilynn became extremely needy and continues to fight for my attention. On my husband's days off, I like to go to the store with just Rilynn to buy her a new coloring book or cheap toy. We go to the park and then come home to take naps together. This is so comforting to my little girl to know that I haven't forgotten about her.

Another thing that was hard to get used to was nap schedules. A newborn baby takes around 6 naps a day, so in a sense it's easier when the baby is a newborn. I have always laid Rilynn down for her naps and lay with her until she falls asleep. After Eladee became a few months old, I had to plan her naps around Rilynn's nap to ensure that I could still take that time to lay down with Rilynn and get her to fall asleep. There have been days where Rilynn has skipped her nap altogether because I couldn't get Eladee to sleep when I wanted her to (those are some of the worst days). Things are getting easier in the napping area, but as Eladee gets bigger and constantly changes, so do her schedules and I'm afraid nothing is reliable lately.

Another unexpected issue that I discovered was trying to nurse Eladee, while trying to take care of Rilynn. It can be done because mothers all over have done it. In my case, it wasn't that easy. My full intentions were to nurse Eladee as long as I nursed Rilynn (an entire year), but according to my doctor there are all sorts of reasons that a person begins to lose their milk supply. The explanation that he gave me was that with my first child, I didn't have the distraction of anything else. I could nurse her in peace and quiet and take as much time as I wanted with her. With my second child, I have a toddler that I am constantly trying to chase around, keep quiet and not get into trouble. This isn't the most peaceful environment to nurse a baby in and therefore my milk supply has suffered because of it.

One thing that sometimes makes me smile, even though it shouldn't, is how in sync my girls become when they are both screaming at the top of their lungs. Rilynn will start crying because she can't have candy or another cookie, and because of it Eladee will begin to scream as well.
This is especially fun when we go out to Target or another shopping center and people begin to stare because my sweet littles are deafening all of the shoppers around us. I didn't get brave taking both girls out at the same time by myself until recently. I don't care what other people think or if they stare, it's trying to balance everything while I go out and making sure I don't forget my groceries that I have already been paid for.

There are definitely a few positive perks of bringing home another baby! First of all, let's not forget the unlimited amount of cuddles and baby rolls. I can never get enough of eating my little one's cheeks. And Rilynn is more than helpful. She loves to get a diaper or wipees or even hold Eladee (with my help) so that I can have a break. She is the most helpful two year old I know. Also, at the end of the day, when my house is trashed and we ate Mac n' Cheese for dinner again, I peek in on those girls of mine and know that this is a process that we all will have to face. We all must have the dirty house, the spit up on our shoulders, and the rat's nest that we call hair. I'm so grateful for these babies that I was trusted to raise, even on the days when I want to scream, rip out my rat's nest or hide in a closet.

Sweet baby Eladee!

Big Sister Rilynn breastfeeding her baby doll- Boppy pillow and all!