Am I a Good Mom?

Am I a good mom? I can’t tell you how many times a day I have asked myself this question in the last 6 months. I tell everyone that I have never questioned myself as much as I have since I became a mother.

When I thought about becoming a mother, I knew I would be awesome :). I had been a babysitter and a nanny for half my life. I knew how to feed them, when to discipline, how to discipline, and what was and wasn’t allowed for a child. This would be a piece of cake! Then you are sitting in a delivery room with your red-faced angry baby, going “WHAT DID I DO!?”.

In order to prepare myself for motherhood, I read lots of books, watched other mothers, talked to friends with kids, and I felt like I was ready to take on this challenge. I knew what I wanted to do and how I would do it.

The first time I had to let me little girl cry in her crib was heart wrenching. She was bathed, changed, fed, and loved on- yet she still cried. Her crying felt so stressful, that I knew I had to put her down. If she was going to cry regardless, may as well let Mom get a few things done. This was one of my “am I a bad mom” moments. How did the other moms do it? Was this wrong? It felt right for me. Was I wrong?

This immense guilt has covered me for months as I compare myself to other “perfect” moms and listen to their success stories with their babies. So I created these little questions for myself to run through in my mind...

-Is she fed and changed?
- Am I loving her well?
- Is this in my best interest or hers?
- Is this dangerous or just adventurous?
- Does it feel right (or wrong)?

There is a lot that can be said for mother’s intuition. Sometimes you JUST KNOW. I think God put this little gadget in our hearts for this purpose. Years ago, there weren’t blogs, shows, books, and social media to tell you how to raise your baby. You just did your best according to your own convictions. And we all turned out just fine, right?

So here is the conclusion that I have come to...if you are asking yourself “am I a good mom?” YOU ARE. Our minds do not question something unless we are constantly conscious of it. And then it drives our motives. I guarantee you that moms who are neglectful, strung out on drugs, and uncaring do not ask themselves this question. We ask it because we are meticulously mulling over every little decision to make sure it is the most beneficial for our child’s wellness. This is the main quality of a good mom!

When it comes time to make decisions about food, vaccinations, illness, tv, baby carrying, cry it out, attachment parenting, boundaries, discipline, how much or how little, schooling, or anything else you may question yourself about, be prepared. Do your research, but trust your intuition to make the best educated decision for your child. DO WHAT FEELS RIGHT FOR YOU. We are the one who know our child better than they know themselves, so don’t let “experts”, articles or other moms determine your status as a mother.

Do you love your child and strive to always do what is best for them?

Then you are a good mom.