We Are All Struggling With Something (A Follow-up Post)

Yesterday I wrote a post about my physical issues since giving birth. It was a post that was very revealing and made me extremely vulnerable. You wouldn't even imagine the responses that I received!

In the last 24 hours, I have talked to at least 25 women about their own issues postpartum, and I've heard from dozens of others giving support, prayers, and thanking me for sharing something so personal. I even received a bouquet of flowers from an old friend today! What a beautiful surprise to open my door to! And thus, the first tears of the day!

Thank you Melissa and Takashi!

As I pushed the "publish" button yesterday, I was so nervous I was shaking. How would people take this? Would the response be positive or negative? I had to walk away from the computer. When I came back I was pleasantly surprised, and after spending hours on the computer answering emails, messages, comments, and text messages.... I went to bed feeling peaceful.

Here is what I have learned in the last 24 hours... we are all struggling with something. We are all looking for answers and support, and many times we are too afraid or embarrassed to mention it. I wouldn't be where I am today if a pregnant friend of mine hadn't overheard my situation and said "I work for a urologist! We deal with this stuff all the time!" and she referred me to my surgeon. I had no intention of telling her my problems, because I didn't want her to fear her impending birth. And here she is, part of my healing process.

 I learned about so many postpartum issues yesterday, and most of these women didn't even have the symptoms that I have! Which also showed me the vast array of postpartum issues that many of us suffer, and mostly in silence. Some of these women had procedures or surgeries scheduled, and others were still contemplating when to see a doctor. Some were fresh off of birth (within a few months) and wanted to make sure they weren't experiencing something "wrong". Some women simply wanted to let me know that I am not alone.

I said more than once "although our problems our different, our feelings are the same!". Embarrassment. Hurt. Anger. Helpless. Loss. Fear. Uncertainty. Disgusting. Broken.

Talking to another friend today, she said it perfectly "birth often leaves behind it's mark". And it sure does. I know that none of us regret the road we have walked and the things we have endured for our babies. But let's start TALKING about it. My pregnant friends have said that they want to know these things- they want to know what it's like to deliver a baby, what your postpartum body is like, how things feel. One of them said "why are there NO blogs or books about this!?!". I don't know. Let's change that.

I encourage you to bring up your issues with your friends and family. It doesn't matter if they are physical, mental, emotional, spiritual... someone may have the answer. Just like I never planned on telling my pregnant friend about my symptoms, when she held the answer the whole time!

Thanks for supporting me and walking this road with me. I look forward to keeping in touch with those that I have talked to, and walk your journey with you as well!