We All Have Our "Better"

Here is a quick post from my friend Carly. We met when we were both enormously pregnant, and we have kept in touch over the last 2 years. This is a little insight into what she is learning and walking through on her journey as a mother. Let's all continue to support each other.

"When you know better, you do better." 

Maya Angelou 

 I tried to dig to the bottom of the context of this quote and was instead bombarded with legions of posts from various blogs, online groups, and message boards regarding choices in parenting and how many use this quote as not only their parenting compass, but a 'gentle' way of recommending that what you are doing with your child is hopelessly, utterly wrong. Have you ever considered.....maybe my "better" isn't your "better"? 

 I have been through so many seasons in life. Haven't we all? Fortunately, I have gained some perspective from those. I have been broke and living off of fish sticks and canned ravioli. I have been a working, single mom with not exactly a load of free time or patience. I have been a stay at home mom to an intense baby that taught me more about lacking free time and patience than being a working, single mom ever did. As a result of seasons, we make choices. 

My current season is being at home full time with two children under two years old. That intense baby is now a very mobile, intense toddler. My experience with him greatly impacted my choices with his younger sister. Having to be a present and attentive parent to two children simultaneously impacted my choices with both children. Only having two arms and two legs impacts the choices I make every day. Yet I am bombarded with what I "should" choose because this person or that person knows that I "know better".

 I do know better. 

 I know better that, for me, these are the choices that are in line with the goals my family has, all people and categories of impact considered. I have a diverse group of friends who are all over the spectrum regarding their choices, based on the goals THEY have within their familial units. I had all of the answers, too. I understand the need to spread the gospel of my amazing experiences and informational finds, because, heaven forbid, that person doesn't have access to Google and would "miss out".

 I realize how very wrong I was. I realize now that there isn't one answer for everyone in any category, and that I am showing more wisdom when I am silent because I don't know everything, as opposed to saying something because I believe I do.