A Letter to the New Parent

Today I paid a quick visit to my birthing center. I had left a mirror there a few weeks ago and happened to being the area. When I stopped in, there was an orientation class going on with all the new parents-to-be. I tried to go in quickly and stealthily, but I couldn't help but notice the deer-in-headlights look on all of their faces as they listened to the nutritionist talk about food and pregnancy. I smirked to myself a little bit, because almost 2 years ago, that was me sitting in that chair.

I remember listening as intently as possible to every word they said, trying to hold back tears (why was I crying? Hormones? Fear of the unknown? Excitement?)  and hold it together to get through my classes or appointments. Sure I was scared! As a first-time parent, you have no idea what to expect, no matter how many times *seasoned* parents give you advice!

So, in an effort to not give you any more advice, let me just tell you this: it is every bit as scary as you think it is. It is every bit exciting as you think it is. You will laugh, you will cry, you might yell and you will probably cry some more. I'm talking pregnancy, birth, and postpartum here. Every fear that you have is legitimate and may even come to pass once your little one is here. Giving birth is hard, but it's possible. Having a newborn is HARD, but it's doable (and it doesn't last TOO long). Being a parent is hard- as it stares me in the face every day and I have to make decisions that I never even dreamed of facing.

Every day is a new challenge and a new joy. I remember sitting up late at night with my fussy newborn and dreaming about what life used to be and where I would be if I had made different choices. I tried not to regret having her, but sometimes you just have those depressing moments when your life gets turned completely upside down by your little red-faced human. I longed for the day that having a child would feel "normal" for me, like I always thought it would be. I would go to grocery store without her (occasionally) and think "no one here knows that I have a tiny baby at home"... it was a weird feeling. Who was I now?

And then today, I walked confidently into my birth center with my cute dressed 1-year-old on my hip and a smile on my face. I glanced at the dazed parents-to-be and felt their fears, insecurities, and unsettled nerves. I knew that feeling. But I also had an empowering moment of feeling "I have arrived".

Today I realized that motherhood now feels natural to me. I am not sure when it happened, but it did. I see my life running errands with a little one, rocking her to sleep every night and spending every day exploring together. I used to feel so ill-equipped and fried that I wanted to get away from the baby, and now her presence brings me joy and rest.This is now normal.

So to all of you expectant first-time parents, don't try to figure it all out before the baby comes. Don't plan out what your life will be like or how baby will act. Don't feel bad if you don't immediately feel bonded with your baby or natural at parenting- I didn't either. Just give yourself a break, because before you know it, parenting will feel natural to you as well and your little one will fit into your family so perfectly.

And watch for that moment... there is nothing better than the feeling that "I have arrived"!