Be Who You Want to Attract

I am constantly shocked and discouraged by the amount of inappropriate pictures posted on Facebook and Instagram. Let me explain to you what "inappropriate" means to me- it is a picture that could be categorized as "sexy" and conveys sexual thoughts and ideas by the viewer. This could be a skimpy bathing suit, a very undressed female (or male), a couple laying in bed, and even some kissing pictures (bedroom-only type!).

Yes, you can call me prude. You're probably right. But as the wife of a youth pastor, we are constantly and painstakingly teaching young girls to guard their hearts and their bodies, and teaching young men to respect females and learn to love them for who they are.

Men are physical- we know this. They are attracted to the female body and all that it holds. This is RIGHT within the confines of marriage. Before marriage, these men need to treat these women as if they could be someone else's wife. When my husband and I were dating, he was very careful about "how far" we went because he didn't want to take anything away from my future husband (if it wasn't going to be him!). THIS is how a man should treat a woman.

Women don't help this. Many times they do nothing to help these men stay pure in thought and action. Many times they encourage the negative attention because they are flaunting themselves for all they believe they are- a pretty face on a sexy body. If you want to marry a good guy, then why do you keep throwing yourself to the shallow ones? Now, don't get me wrong, I'm sure the Godly guys like a sexy picture just as much as anyone else, but they aren't going to look at it and say "wow, I bet she'd be a great wife".

Be who you want to attract. 

As the mother of a young daughter, I have become even more impassioned on this subject. My daughter's looks speak nothing of her self-worth, and I hope they never will. I will teach her that she can be beautiful and attractive without being "slutty" or "easy". The best compliment I ever received from a boy in high school was "you're like the prettiest girl here, in a very covered-up way". That gave me all the confidence I will ever need.

I appreciate the human body. It is amazing and strong and beautiful. Seeing a healthy and hard working body can be encouraging, especially for someone who has worked so hard on their fitness. But that doesn't mean you need to prance around in undergarments and show sex-hungry guys something that should be cherished by you and your husband. You ARE beautiful and sexy- you don't need to prove it to anyone.

I understand that I can flip on my tv, walk out the door, or drive down the street and see something on a billboard or a commercial that I don't like. I have no control over this, and I never will. Sex sells. But the things I do have a say in- my daughter's life, youth girls, friends... you better believe that I will speak up for them and stand for a better self-worth for them than they are.

And to be clear, someone like me would not be "hating" on your picture with jealousy, it's because I care. The saying "she's just jealous" is often VERY wrong. It is used as a poor and uneducated excuse for a female to not feel convicted when she is called out on something that may be destructive in her life.

So instead of getting angry or making excuses when someone speaks into your life, take a moment to step back and assess the situation. Is this person a friend? Do they care about your well-being? Is the picture (or statement, comment, issue) inappropriate? Does it portray you as loving yourself and worthy of more?

Care about yourself. And be who you want to attract.