Parenting the Pipsqueak: The Birth of Amelia Genevieve- From an Onlooker's Point of View!

First of all, I have to say this: there is no one that births a baby like Abigail does. She makes the experience look effortless and almost enticing. You don’t believe me.

In 2012, I was 3 months pregnant when I attended the birth of Elijah Patrick, her third child. It was mid-morning on St. Patrick’s Day when I received the call that her water had broken. Since the baby was a couple weeks early, her sisters and mother were not around, so I filled the void. As Abigail and her husband Joshua headed to the hospital, I puttered around doing other things until it was time for me to join them. I arrived at the hospital mid-afternoon and Abigail was sitting next to the hospital bed on her birthing ball, just rocking back and forth and having light conversation with us. No one would know she was in labor!

As the contractions picked up, she received her epidural and was put into the bed to rest and let her body progress. In the evening, she was a little frustrated that her labor had already been over 8 hours (actually a long time compared to her 2 previous births!). Josh and I did our best to distract her with FRIENDS trivia, funny questions, and a little bit of dozing. My husband showed up shortly after and brought dinner. After a little while, Abigail told her nurse “I’m feeling pressure. Will you check me?”. Daniel and I politely left the room. Not two minutes later, we heard a newborn cry down the hall. I looked at my husband and said “Oh! A new baby just got here!” (my pregnant hormones did not help). Little did we know, that little baby was Elijah!

As soon as Abigail was checked, the baby was crowning, and in another second he was out! I ran into the room in a flurry of nurses frantically working and Abigail sitting in the bed smiling and laughing with a screaming newborn on her chest. No doctor was in sight. He did not make it! In fact, Joshua had to partially deliver the baby- there was no time for gloves, lights, or pushing. It was amazing! My husband looked at me and said “Wow, that was easy. Are you sure you don’t want an easy hospital birth?”.

When Abigail texted me a few weeks ago that she wanted me to be present for the birth of her fourth child, I was so giddy. I had since delivered my own baby in a grueling 67 hour labor with many hiccups and roadblocks that you can read here. I knew the way in which this woman brought life to earth so beautifully, and I felt honored to be a part of it again, and was hoping for some healing from my own traumatic experience. I got it.

On Sunday morning, July 21st, I awoke to the sound of my baby cooing and I looked at my phone and saw that I had a text from Abigail (actually Josh) at 5am. She was in labor! Her water had already broken and they were at the hospital. I plucked my baby out of her crib, grabbed a bottle and yelled to my husband who was in the shower “Abbey is in labor!”. Because of her last birthing experience, I knew there may not be much time! I was so excited and flustered that I couldn’t figure out what to wear, so I just walked around aimlessly for awhile. My husband said “Babe, you’re not having a baby, Abbey is”. Because of course, it’s all about me, right? After sending my husband off to church, I packed the baby in the car, dropped her off to my sister for the day (I thought), grabbed a coffee from Starbucks, and hurried to the hospital.

I arrived at 8:35am. When I walked into the room, Abigail was laying peacefully in the bed hooked up to all sorts of IVs and monitors- the beauty of hospital birth. Her right arm was swollen unnaturally- apparently the nurse had misplaced her first IV! We made fun of her “Cankle” arm and she updated me on her progress. Joshua was sitting in the corner filling out paperwork that he kept complaining about (“why do they need to know this!?”) and Abigail’s mother was making small talk with us and the nurses. When Abigail arrived at the hospital (5am?), she quickly dilated to 5cm. By the time I got there, she was dilated to 8. We knew it would be soon.

Ready for baby!

A short and bubbly nurse named Kathy entered the room and introduced herself to me. She checked Abbey’s vitals and said that baby looked great. Abigail was laying on her side with the peanut ball in between her knees. Kathy, Abigail’s mom Donna, and I exchanged some birth stories and baby stats. The day was overcast, muggy, and rainy. A day just like Elijah’s birth-day. I had too much coffee, no food, and I was jittery and anxious!

At 9am, Abigail told the nurse that she was feeling pressure and wanted to be checked. I remembered clearly that the last time this happened, I was jipped out of seeing a birth! I knew better this time! Kathy checked Abigail and said “Oh, you’re complete!”. Then there was a flurry of different nurses coming in and out of the room bringing the scale, buckets, sheets, pulling lights out, removing the bottom of the bed, and calling the doctor over the intercom. Joshua was now a nervous wreck, pacing the room and asking every person who entered “are you the doctor?” to which they would always say “no, I’m a nurse”. Then he looked at Abigail and said “I can see the head! I can see her hair!”. Abigail laughed and told her to calm down. Her mom was looking also, and announced that the baby had curly dark hair- and lots of it. I said “really!?!?” and Abigail said “Aubrey, it’s ok- you can look”. I mustered my courage and moved my eyes down to see a sweet little dark head waiting to come out!

They continued to page the doctor with no success. After Kathy had set some things up, she stood between Abigail’s legs and said “I’m not moving, because if I do Joshua is going to have to deliver this baby”. When she said that, Abigail smiled and laughed, to which Kathy replied “Don’t! Don’t laugh, don’t cough, don’t sit up. This baby is coming”. At that moment, we all watched as the baby’s head slowly started bulging. If you’ve ever witnessed a birth, you know that the moment you glimpse that baby coming out, you can’t look away. It feels like the closest thing to witnessing a miracle directly from the hand of God.

Without looking away, Kathy calmly asked if the doctor was coming. The baby didn’t stop moving. We watched as her head slid out slowly and perfectly- Abigail’s body opening up to release this sweet baby just as a woman’s body is intended to do. When her head was out, Kathy gently grabbed her neck and yelled “nevermind!” to the nurses behind her because there was no time for a doctor. At that moment, a doctor who was in the hall ran in and stood behind Kathy as she delivered. Kathy said “give me a tiny push Abigail”, and the rest of the baby’s body slid out swiftly and a moment later baby Amelia was on Abigail’s chest. She was a little purple and gurgly, figuring out how to take her first few breaths. She cried in that heavenly newborn voice and we all breathed a sigh of relief, cheered, snapped pictures, and even shed some tears. Her sweet little cry sounded just like her brother’s.

It was 9:16am. I know because someone said “What time is it? Look at the clock on the monitor”. I was the closest one and announced it proudly. It made me feel like I had some part in this thrilling story. We watched her as she was weighed and swaddled, Daddy held her, more pictures were snapped, and finally given back to mommy for some skin-to-skin. When she was in her daddy’s arms, I said hello and her brand-new eyes turned to me. My heart melted at that moment.

Later that day in church (Abigail delivered early enough for me to pick up my babe and make it!), Trev spoke about moving on from wounds and allowing them to become scars. Scars are reminders of what we have been through, but they no longer hurt or define us. I felt as if Abigail’s awe-inspiring birth helped to heal my wound and create a scar instead. Obviously I do not birth the graceful way that she does- but it instilled courage in my spirit that I may, at some point, be able to do it again.

Isaiah 43:18-19 says “See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland”. In Pastor Trev’s words, sometimes you have been “body slammed” in life, and you mourn over your failures. Then God comes and says “how long are you going to mourn? I know where you’ve been, now let’s move on”. In other words, let’s let some healing happen and turn that wound into a scar.

I don’t want to make this birth story about me, but it was important to address the fact that Abigail not only gave life that stormy morning, but she provided healing for a friend.

Proud parents!

The first time Abbey's mom witnessed a grandchild's birth!

Kathy, the nurse who delivered Amelia

Later in the afternoon, I went back to the hospital to visit little Amelia and hold her for the first time. She had that delicious newborn smell (you know what I mean?) and the sweetest little lips and nose. Since Joshua and Abigail have decided that this will be their last baby (#5), everyone seems to be devouring every moment with her. Little Amelia Genevieve, thank you for healing my heart and sharing your birth with me. You have absolutely the best mommy a kid could ask for, and I am eager to watch you grow and learn along with your siblings.