Love Is...

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

We have started a “Love Is” series at church and have been going through each of these points one week at a time. This week was “it is not self-seeking”. Perfect timing for me- after a long weekend and a tough Sunday morning getting the Pipsqueak ready.

She woke up happy, but it gradually died down as the morning wore on- and we had to make it to 10:30am to get to church! Since my husband is on staff, he goes to church every Sunday at about 7:30am, leaving me to parent on my own for the morning and meet him there later. Over the course of the morning, I had a short fuse and was getting so frustrated by her whining. It wasn’t even crying, it was whining. I was trying to shower, blow-dry my hair, feed her, feed the dogs, and get us both ready. I spoke pretty firmly to her a few times- she’s really starting to understand when I say “no”- but that doesn’t mean she obeys yet! More than once I thought about just staying home and putting her butt to bed, but I wanted to go. When I got to church I handed her to my husband and said “We’ve got a fussy one on our hands- your turn”. He obliged happily.

Since he had already listened to the sermon in the earlier service, he stayed out with her and let me listen. I found a seat with some worship team members, and settled in, trying to calm down and let go of my difficult morning.

I was trying to hold back tears during this sermon. My heart was convicted as Pastor Trev discussed the points of what “not self-seeking” looks like. Love is not self-satisfying or selfish, but instead it is sacrificial. When I chose to have a child, I chose to commit to loving her this way- sacrificing everything that it takes to love her the way that she deserves and that God intends me to love her.

This revelation really combats the “other” mothers, who are back at their pre-baby weight 2 weeks after delivery, always have hair and makeup done, and seem to have homemade EVERYTHING at get-togethers. How do they do it!?! I try to be this, but it’s usually fake. After this message, my heart was reset and my mind felt at ease. If I didn’t get my makeup finished or my hair just right, IT’S OK. If I forgot to eat or feed the dogs, IT’S OK. If my new kitchen table (more on this later) isn’t quite finished yet and I feel annoyed and stressed about it, IT’S OK. If my husband made me mad and disappointed last night, IT’S OK. I am not here to look good or have it all together, I am here to meet the needs of my child and show her unconditional love as she grows up. 

Because it’s not about me!

This message also spoke to me about my marriage. We have had a rough weekend that has been packed full of planning, parties, cleaning, refurbishing, and parenting. We are TIRED. When we get tired, our fuses are even shorter and we tend to offend each other or become offended too easily. We pick fights over little things. Do ya get me? I have definitely NOT be sacrificial to my husband lately- and therefore I am not loving him to the fullest.

These are the things that matter. My life is about them. I may sacrifice time, beauty, sleep, etc. for my family, but then I am ultimately loving them the way that God intended. I love my family, and I want them to know it and see it every day. I have no reason to get upset with my child who is cranky and just wants to be cuddled and play with her mama. I have no reason to get annoyed with my husband who is painting slowly, when his reason is so I won’t be mad about him being sloppy! Why do we do this to ourselves?

It’s not about me.

This is my new mantra. Will you commit to loving your family fully also? Will you believe that love is not self-seeking, and that it is sacrificial? How can we be so unwilling to sacrifice when Jesus was the ultimate sacrifice for us? Read the verse above again. I know, it’s a pretty overused verse, but it has hidden gems of revelation. Take time to learn what love really is, and then live it out.