Why We Don't Do Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day is this week.

That means that my Facebook feed is about to be filled with people dressed in pink and red, pictures of heart shaped cookies and chocolate, status updates of "Tommy brought me home balloons!", and everyone sharing how and why they love their partners. That last part I don't mind so much, but yes, I am mocking the rest.

Valentine's Day has become a "Hallmark Holiday"- what I mean by this is that it is a holiday that Hallmark has made big enough to sell more cards, buy more junk, and spend more money. It's origins are from Saint Valentine, but many people have even forgotten that! It has turned into a day to show your love to your special someone, but I think we have taken it too far. Now, there are expectations on this day- mainly from the females. "He better buy me flowers, and I want TWO dozen this year". "I hope he remembers my favorite chocolates and stocks up". "Did he get reservations at that fancy restaurant yet?" "I wonder if he'll get that hotel room I've been hinting at". And sadly if he forgets or doesn't make those reservations, his female is usually very disappointed and it goes down as an unsuccessful holiday.

My husband is an amazing man, but he is not known for being incredibly thoughtful. We're different (Well, Amen). I discovered this when I met him at 17 years old, and the last thing I wanted to do was set him up for failure. It was then that we decided together to not celebrate Valentine's Day (plus, long distance...but that's another post!). I didn't want him to feel pressured to buy me something pretty by a specific date, and I didn't want to feel disappointed if he DIDN'T buy me anything! It was unfair to both of us.

I told him that I would prefer to get flowers on a random day to show his love. I would love a surprise night out, or plan a night at a hotel. But I didn't want him to do it because he HAD to do something fabulous for Valentine's Day. I wanted him to do it because he wanted to show his love for me whenever! This was probably a bigger challenge than Valentine's Day....whoops. But the few times that he has shown up at home with flowers, the payoff is big. And when he was at the laundromat last week and came home with a box of thin mints (and he doesn't like them), it was better than any holiday. And sometimes he'll run to the store and come back with two different kinds of ice cream (both of which he doesn't like) because he didn't know what I felt like that night. And when he asks "want to sit by the fire tonight?", and we sip our wine and talk and laugh while the flames crackle. And when I get home and he has DONE THE DISHES....well, you get the idea!

The point is to challenge ourselves to be romantic and attentive to our partner in everyday life, not just when a holiday comes around. If you are scrambling around for the perfect gift for the next two days, you're doing it all wrong. Let your partner off the hook, and drop the expectations, so when a surprise comes along, you will be thrilled!

There is nothing wrong with Valentine's Day. It's an awesome opportunity to express your love for your partner. I have nothing against it, and I do plan on making heart shaped cookies with my daughter (because it kills some time!) and  helping her make a homemade card for Daddy. I will use Valentine's Day to shower some love on my child, because there is no expectation from her, just joy! And Daniel and I might go out this weekend- not on Friday, and not because we need to celebrate Valentine's Day, but because we have a gift card for pizza and love being together. Because we want to celebrate us being us.