Honi Kine Teething Necklaces

"Why do all of your necklaces have this funny wooden ring at the bottom of them now?"

This question was asked by one of the college guys that I lead worship with weekly at church. I proceeded to explain that it was a teething necklace for Piper (though my mother would tell you it's for me when I'm bored)! Let me start at the beginning...

A few months ago, my mommy friends and I began to become frantic as our babies approached teething. They showed all the signs- drooling, chewing on everything, crankiness, swollen gums, etc. We jumped onto our online forums posting questions about remedies and tricks! It was at this point that our friend Sharon revealed that she makes beautiful teething necklaces.

What's a teething necklace? Well, it's a necklace made from safe materials that is worn for the purpose of the little one chomping on it and keeping busy while you hold them! No, it is not to be confused with Amber teething necklaces that are worn by the baby. These necklaces are made for Mommy! Sharon was just starting up her business, Honi Kine, so she offered discounted prices for us and brought all of her supplies to mommy group for us to make our own. We were sold! Here is a picture of the 'few' that I own...

Is this too many? Can you EVER have too many teething necklaces!?! 

So what does Honi Kine mean? Straight from the Honi Kine website- "the honi is a Polynesian greeting in which two people greet each other by pressing noses & inhaling at the same time. it represents the exchange of ha -- the breath of life, and mana -- spiritual power between two people." Each Honi Kine necklace is made from tightly crochet covered beads and a maple hardwood all-natural wood teething ring, brushed with an organic beeswax olive oil seal. They each come "nestled in a premium muslin pouch". There are also a few 100% organic cotton options!

Here are some pictures of my necklaces in action...

And remember this picture from my Scars and Flaws post? 

Yeah, it was taken in California while I was on a girls weekend.... without the baby. Yes, I love the bohemian look of them so much that I wear them when she's not around! If you think it's just for teething, think again! Piper uses them as a comfort grip, a shaking toy, or to put her foot in. It makes feedings a little more pleasant- less feet and fingers up my nose because her hands are occupied! I also nanny a 2 year old girl who does not need it for teething, but every time I have one on she sits in my lap and holds it or plays with it. These are the ultimate comfort item, gals.

If you don't love the wood teething ring, there are other options as well. Like this...

And it doesn't stop at necklaces! Honi Kine also makes sidekick clips and burp clothes! Each product is handmade by Sharon, so if you have a custom idea, let her know! (She and her daughter Ava also model most of the products on the website! Aren't they just so beautiful?!)

Visit the Honi Kine Website and also 'like' the Honi Kine facebook page!

With how affordable and adorable these products are, this website could be your new favorite! Happy Shopping!

Marriage After Baby

 This week on one of my mommy forums, a sweet and desperate mama asked the question “How have your marriages survived the first year of parenthood? We are 11 months in and feel like we are still struggling to adjust. I can't say we fight much--I just feel distant”.

How many of us have felt this way and have been too nervous or ashamed to speak up? Other mamas immediately began to reach out and share their hearts, struggles, and give encouragement. It’s amazing how many new mothers feel this way!

Now, we are not perfect and Daniel and I have had our moments, but I do have to say that having the baby has made our marriage feel stronger. Because of our long labor and traumatic birth, I have never felt closer and more supported by that man! Let me try to explain this… our marriage feels stronger, in a way that I am no longer thinking “divorce” when we get in a fight, but there have been days where we feel very distant from each other as we navigate the beginnings of parenthood. Some of the excitement and passion has weakened as we take on the mundane tasks of work, sleep (or lack there of), diapers, errands, cooking, cleaning, church events, family, etc.  

The first two months (at least) of Piper’s life are what we called the “dark days”. Days and nights seemed to string together in an endless fit of feedings, a screaming baby, broken sleep and lots of tears (for mainly me and baby). I thought to myself “why in the world did I EVER want to do this!?”. Am I the only one? Didn’t think so. We tried to rotate wakings and allow each other to sleep as much as possible- but with me as the primary food source, I got the short end of the stick. We tried to talk and spend time together, but we were so tired and distracted. We made a decision to just “get through” until things calmed down a little bit, and then we could find the time to reconnect and focus on our marriage. Things do get easier, I promise.

Here is some advice that I have gathered from different sources that may help you during this difficult transition.

• Honestly, the few first months you are in survival mode. If you can avoid it, try not to make any big decisions or discuss highly emotional or controversial subjects with your spouse. You are both sleep deprived, may be feeling neglected by your spouse, and totally distracted. You will get the hang of parenthood soon, so just SURVIVE. There will be time soon to talk and bond and reignite the passion. Try to help each other out as much as possible- when Piper was tiny, I would take her out of our bedroom to nurse (she was loud!) and let Daniel sleep longer. When she was finished and needed to be bounced back to sleep, I would wake Daddy and let him do that while I went back to bed. This worked well for us during those tough nights. 
  
  
  
• Do you feel like you love your baby more than you love your husband? Let me explain why… The love that we have for our children is unconditional and so fierce that nothing can stop it. The love that we have for our spouse is conditional and if we are not getting our needs met, we feel neglected and frustrated. The baby is a part of us, and God created us to feel that love towards our children in order to nurture and protect them (and not kill them when they make us made because they’re so darn cute!). On the other hand, we have to CHOOSE to love our husbands daily. My father-in-law has always told us that “you can marry anyone- there is no ‘perfect match’. Marriage is a choice and you choose to love someone”. This stays true in the days of new parenthood. Although you may not feel like you’re in love, you can choose it.

• Give the guys a break. They don’t have our famous ‘mother’s intuition’. Our husbands may not notice when the baby has a dirty diaper or that we are too tired to rock them to sleep. They can’t tell as easily when it’s discomfort or hunger, or tummy aches (sometimes we can’t either). Don’t hurl the pacifier at him saying “you KNOW she needs a pacifier!”, instead, try saying “honey, did you try the pacifier yet? That usually calms her”. We are all forgetful, and we can completely change a situation based on how we communicate. I am guilty of throwing things at times, but when I came about it gently, even when my heart felt angry, I always got a better response and it diffused a tense situation.
  

• Let Daddy discover how to be a daddy. I had a hard time watching Daniel feed her “wrong” or  burp her too hard, or most recently pull her off the bed or throw her in the air! But my husband needs the freedom to create his relationship with his child. If I parent him also, I am squashing his ability to step up as a parent. Just last night I ran to the store and tried to correct him as I walked out the door. He looked at me and said “If I’m the parent, please let me be the parent”. He wasn’t doing anything wrong, just different. I gave in and left. He was right. And don’t EVER refer to Daddy as the ‘babysitter’. This has always been a rule for me. He is not a pay by the hour, keep my kid busy and alive person, he is her father and has just as much responsibility in raising her as I do. When we give our husbands the freedom to rise up and become great dads, they usually do. 
  
  
  

• Take time away from the baby when you can! When that scary “6 weeks” mark started looming over my head, I knew my husband was ready to have his wife back. But I was so scared. Will it hurt? Can I do it? What’s the wreckage like down there? My head was so in “mommy mode” that there was no way I could let go and enjoy my husband- especially with the baby 5 feet away and my nerves on edge. So here’s what I did… I didn’t tell my husband my plan… I called my mom and asked her to watch the baby for a couple hours. I dropped her off and went back home and prepared a nice meal. When my husband got off work, he came home to me...just me! Without the baby around, we could really focus on each other for our first time back at it. We had a blissful two hours together, and then we went to pick up our baby, feeling content and refreshed. I knew ahead of time that I couldn’t focus on my husband while waiting for the baby to cry or feed, so I took her to someone I trusted (as hard as it was to leave her!), because my husband needed me too. Once that first time was out of the way, we were able to explore and enjoy each other with baby in the house. It just takes time. 
  
  

• There were times when I was breastfeeding that I felt like my body was not my own. I would feed the baby and put her to bed, I would satisfy my husband, and then I would say “Okay, is everybody good? Can I put my boobs away now?”. I honestly felt like I was constantly being needed by someone. In these moments, I tried to remember that this was really the life I wanted. I didn’t expect all of this, but I wanted to be a loving mother and an attentive wife. And I know this is just the beginning. There is no “off” time for mommies. So instead of feeling bad for myself, I thank God for my husband, my child, and my wonderful family. I try to remember that it will not be like this forever, I will be longing for the days of breastfeeding again (I already am), or having intimate times with my husband. God created my body to serve others, and that is exactly what I am using it for. I'm actually lucky, right!?

• Thank each other for the sacrifices that you each make. In our case, that means thanking my husband for opting out of playing soccer during the week and for not doing Fantasy Football this year (this is a big deal, believe me. And I am so thankful). For me, he constantly thanks me for keeping our baby alive and loving her unconditionally. It works out well. Express the little things- even if you think they don’t care. They do. It always feels good to be thanked for something that you thought was going unnoticed. 
  
  

• Don’t dwell on what used to be- I used to do this because we LOVED to travel, explore, hike, backpack, camp… you name it. With a baby? No way. Instead, we try to look forward to things we can do with her. The first time she’ll see the beach. Her first camping trip. Taking her to see the changing colors in Boston. Or the little day-to-day things like hearing a dog bark for the first time. Feeling sprinklers. Touching grass. Swimming. We do miss our freedom and the ability to get up and go, but this is so much more rewarding. Seeing life through someone else’s eyes for the FIRST TIME. She’ll grow up and all of this will be normal soon, so savor it now. I am also keeping low expectations- I know we want more children, so I am not counting on ‘getting back’ to some of those things for awhile. I want to wait until our children are old enough to enjoy the experience anyway!

• Let the baby change you. When you become a parent, a whole new life unfolds before your eyes. You see things in a different light. Every movie you see, you think “what if that was my child?”. Every baby you see in the store, you think “they’re about the same age”. You seem to have this secret connection with every other person who has a baby! My husband and I joke that we feel like we’re in a secret club with other parents, and we share quiet head nods and smiles with other parents in the grocery store. All this being said, YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE. Find some parent friends (or at least mommy friends) to have dinner with, laugh with, share stories, etc. Chances are, your screaming and cranky kids won’t bother them. 
  
  
  

• Let the baby see how much you love each other- even if it’s a struggle. Make a daily decision to be excited when Daddy gets home from work (make it a big deal for baby) and show him your appreciation. Be intentional about hugging each other (sometimes with baby) and ALWAYS kissing in front of her. We realized very early that our little one was watching intently as we kissed. It makes her feel loved and secure seeing her parents love each other, even as a baby. And it could also spark some passion between the two of you! Don’t withhold physical touch or saying “I love you” from your spouse, even when you don’t feel like it.  This is also how our children learn that no matter how we feel, we will always love them. 
  
  
  

• Set a daily time to connect with each other. I know this is hard. We don’t always do it, but we try. Daniel’s grandparents were married for 67 years before his grandmother passed away. Every night before bed, they would say goodnight and excuse themselves and go to the bedroom to “settle their nerves”. This meant that they would take time talking through their day and sharing their hearts with each other.  Daniel wanted to start this in our marriage, and it’s so fun to lay in bed and talk for a few minutes! If we can’t settle our nerves, we will try talking over dinner. We ask each other “what are 5 things that I don’t know about your day?”. This is really fun. Mine are usually baby related, and his are usually work related (things I don’t understand), but it gives us insight into each other’s time when we are apart. Other times, we try to leave each other little notes of thanks, send a text saying “I love you and I’m thinking about you”, or fill in our chalkboard that says “I love you because…”. 
  
  
  

• Don’t forget to date each other. If you can get out of the house and away from baby, GREAT! If not, make the most of your time. Have a nightcap on the back porch. Have a candlelight dinner in the living room (our have consisted of pizza!). Watch a movie in bed, go for a walk (with baby of course!). Read through a book together. Do SOMETHING. When we were all poor college kids, we had to date this way anyway! The date doesn’t have to be fancy or expensive, just meaningful.
  
  
  

• Entertain each other’s dreams. Don’t say “we can never go to Alaska, we have a baby!” or “you can’t go back to school, we don’t have the money”. Sometimes we just want to dream and wonder. In the future, you may be able to do some of those things, so don’t cut each other down now. My current dream is going to a luxury hotel by myself and sleeping through the night! Can anyone relate? Listen, encourage, and dream. Sometimes we just need someone else to say “that sounds nice”.

Remember that our marriage never gets to a point where it is perfect or where all the work is done. As people, we change as evolve as we grow older. We have to constantly CHOOSE to stay together and create love between us. We all hear of the 7-year itch, the empty-nest syndrome, and the midlife crisis. None of us are exempt from these difficult times in life. Make your marriage a priority for you. Don’t talk negatively about your spouse. Lift them up whenever you are around others. The more you say something, the more you believe it. Love is not a feeling, it is a choice. Choose to love your husband, because it is the best gift we can give our children. 

My Chalkboard Fridge!

I got bored a few weeks ago, so I ran to the store and picked up some chalkboard paint! My husband and I had talked about making the fridge a chalkboard and he had agreed to it. It was just a plain black fridge- nothing fancy, and we had no plans of getting rid of it! Although he was on board, he didn't expect to come home to it one day! I just sometimes get an idea and make it happen ASAP! 

Here is my fridge before. Black, boring, and cluttered.

 I knew it wasn't difficult to do- I had read a few Pinterest blogs on it and it seemed simple. I found the paint at Walmart for about $10- I had also seen it at hardware stores, but it was about $15. Walmart is the way to go! Here is what it looks like:

When I got home, I grabbed a mirror that I knew I wanted to make a chalkboard and I cleaned off the fridge. I wiped them both down and let them dry. I used a small sponge roller that I also found at Walmart for a few dollars. I taped the mirror so I wouldn't paint the frame- although at the end I had to take the tape off and CAREFULLY touch up the edges so mirror wouldn't show through! Here's the mirror:

It takes a few coats to cover completely!

After one coat on the mirror, I moved to the refrigerator. This took longer and I wanted to make sure it was smooth and even. I did the entire front and the right side (the left side is against a wall).

See the difference? The paint simply turned my shiny fridge matte instead!

Once I was finished there, I still had a ton of paint. So I went into our master bathroom, opened the medicine cabinet and did this:

I did another round for each and applied a second coat. It dries pretty quickly- the hardest part is waiting the 3 days for it to 'set' before you can write on it!

Here are my final products:

 Please excuse my handwriting- it's not good. But you get the point! I still have so much paint leftover...I need to come up with more chalkboard projects!

Lemongrass Spa- Products Review and GIVEAWAY!

Recently, a fellow mommy friend contacted me about a product that she distributes and sent me a few samples of their most popular products. She asked that I try them for a little while and write a quick review on the blog...SURE! But here's the best part... she also is offering a GIVEAWAY right here! More on this in a bit....

First things first! The company that I am referring to is called Lemongrass Spa. Ever heard of it? It was created and is currently run by a couple in Colorado, and their products are really neat! My friend, Kristen, did esthetics for 8 years here in AZ before she got married, moved to Florida, and started a family (4 little boys under 4!). In her words, "skin care is the nitch I love".  Not only do I love following this woman's journey through motherhood with these rambunctious boys, but I really trust her judgement when it comes to natural, chemical-free products.

How cute is this family!?!?

 Here is why Lemongrass Spa is so awesome:
  Our products are completely free of:

- Phthalates - Petroleum-based fillers - Mineral Oil - Sodium Laureth Sulfate - Formaldehyde - Lake colorants - Parabens - Animal Testing
We hand-select natural ingredients including: Fruit extracts such as Pomegranate, Raspberry Seed and Cucumber Moisturizers such as Shea Butter, Mango Butter, Olive Oil, Jojoba Oil, Olive Butter, Apricot Kernel Oil and Almond Oil.
Pure Essential Oils such as Lavender, Tea Tree, Peppermint, Spearmint, Sandalwood & Patchouli. Sugar, oatmeal, dead sea salt and other ingredients that are so natural you could eat them!

 Kristen says that these are the only products that she uses on herself and her babies now. Can you imagine how eager I was to receive my samples! And you better believe that I had a taste- how could I not when it says you can eat it!?!? The body polish tasted a little soapy, but I'm still alive! Yay! Here are the samples that I received last week...

"Pink Shimmer" Lip Balm:

Oatmeal Milk and Honey Soap:

Pink Grapefruit Body Scrub:

Eternal Bliss Body Silk:

 Healing Elements Balm:  

 Here are my unbiased, personal reviews of these products:

"Pink Shimmer" Lip Balm: I am a chapstick addict. I admit it. I have about 4 of them on me at all times- in the diaper bag, my purse, the junk drawer, and my nightstand. I can't go without. I also have all different kinds. I don't like lipstick, so a lip balm with a little color or shimmer is nice! I put this on as soon as I got my samples, and I forgot about it. It was a few hours before bed. When I went to bed, I realized that it was STILL ON! This was amazing to me! I usually lick or eat it off quickly, but this was thick enough to stay on, yet comfortable enough to not bother me! I really like the smell of it also, so I now carry it around! Piper seems to think it's a decent chew toy too- she hasn't discovered the cap yet! 

Oatmeal Milk and Honey Soap: The smell of this is just to die for. It is smooth and wonderful! I love a good hand/body soap! I used to go to the farmer's market to get these kinds of soaps, but I haven't been in ages. This little sample will be gone all too soon. I have it in the guest bathroom now!

Pink Grapefruit Body Scrub: This may be my favorite of all of them. Maybe. I can't decide. I used this a few different ways. The first night I used it as a foot scrub for my heels. It starts out very gritty and then melts and turns to an oil. It's pretty nice! The next day I used it as an all-over body scrub during my shower in the morning. You have to scrub quickly so the sugar in it doesn't melt too quickly. I did a little experiment- I used NO lotion afterwards! It leaves your skin very soft and barely oily- just enough to feel moisturized. I went about my entire day without lotion! This is risky to do in AZ in the summer- you are bound to get dry, cracked skin or at least white dry spots! I didn't. Not one bit. By the end of the day I didn't feel as soft as the beginning, but I was still moisturized! And lastly, I used it in my next shower as SHAVING CREAM. You heard me right. Kristen told me that the sugar and oil helps the hair to stand up and get a closer shave! I loved that as well! My razor did get a little clogged up from the oil as I went, but a quick rinse fixed that. This product gets a BIG thumbs up from me!

Eternal Bliss Body Silk: Here is my only complaint about this one... my sample was way too small! Since I knew this would be bliss (pun intended), I waited until I was freshly showered and applied it, almost the entire sample, to my whole body. It goes on smoothly, smells heavenly and keeps your skin soft all day. What more can a girl ask for? Knowing that it is all-natural and as chemical-free as they get- SOLD.

Healing Elements Balm: Okay, this is the other one that might be my favorite. Might. Here's why I say might...it can be used for so many things, I just haven't had the opportunity to use it much yet! A little goes a long way with this one though. I have used it on my cracked heels (and continue to), and I have also used it as a night cream on the nights I wash my face before bed (secret- I don't always). I was always afraid my skin was too oily to wear a 'night cream' or salve, but I wake up with my skin feeling refreshed and hydrated. I will keep doing it at night in hopes that my skin will get ever better! This can also be used on so many things for both mama and the little babes (see attachment below). 

This little chart was sent to me with my samples, and I just love it! It gives me so many different ideas for how to use the products!

Overall, I loved all of these products. I have had my nose stuck in the catalog all week looking at the products, comparing prices, and seeing what else I would love to try! A couple of the products that I am eager to order are the Body Spritz (as a hair detangler!), the Nail Balm and the Natural Deodorant! Kristen said that she has tried many brands of natural deodorant and she loves this one. In her words "Now--we live in hot states..by 4 pm am I a bit "stinky" yes, a bit..but common..its a natural deodorant and its 1000 degrees outside!". For those of us who already use natural deodorant (or none), this is no surprise. I would rather reapply a natural deodorant that have a chemical-filled smell all day (especially for you nursing mamas)!

 I am also interested in trying their line of Sheer Minerals makeup. I have been using Bare Minerals since the beginning of the year and I am totally in love with it. Kristen said that this compares to Bare Minerals, but Bare Minerals contains Bismuth Oxychloride in it which is known for causing irritation. It is a cheap ingredient that is more like a metal. After doing some price comparing too, Lemongrass Sheer Minerals is cheaper and bigger than Bare Minerals. I am bummed that I just bought brand-new powders, so when I run out I will be trying these instead! 

Visit the website to learn more about the products and peruse the store a bit, and when you're ready, contact Kristen. She promises to always give honest reviews of all products, because she doesn't want you to purchase blindly and not be satisfied! I plan on placing an order relatively soon- payday is next week, and I know which products I want!

Here is the good part....Kristen has decided to give away a full size Pink Grapefruit Body Polish (click for info) to one of my wonderful readers! I wish I could win this myself, but I will be good and choose one of you to win. Please comment on my Facebook post OR this blog. I need your name and why you think you should be chosen! We will choose by the end of the week and contact you to get shipping information. This should be so fun! 

Giveaway is now closed. 

Our winner is Kassie Lashua! 

Congrats on your new Body Polish!

  Kristen Cornelius
(407)401-0533
rkcorn10@yahoo.com
www.ourlemongrassspa.com/kcornelius

A Letter to My Baby Sister on Her Wedding Day

Hahna Alyce-

I am writing you this because I am hoping it can count as my Matron of Honor speech at your wedding. You know I'm a hot mess when it comes to speeches, so this is bound to be more audible and flow a whole lot more smoothly!

I am coming up on 5 years of marriage. Not a ton, but a good 20% of people get divorced within the first 5 years. And sadly, the statistics just go up from there. I (we) have worked hard on our marriage and I long to spend the rest of my life with the man I chose to marry. So, that being said, it is now your turn.

Today you enter into a covenant with Dallas and vow to become his wife, partner, lover, mother to his children, and supporter. You will promise to always wait for him, forgive him, and love him. These words sound so pretty and airy, but the reality is that they are heavy and binding! In a good way. No one else will ever know you the way that Dallas will. He was your first love, your first boyfriend, your first kiss, and now your first...everything else :). He will be the one to hold you when your heart breaks, laugh with you when you're giddy, hold your hand as you travel the world, and grow up together.

Yes, you are both very young- and I do think that it is harder to get married young and stay married. Not stupid, just harder. You are such a different person at 19 than you will be at 25. Or 30 or 40! You and Dallas will have to work harder to grow TOGETHER as you grow up, because the world may try to pull you apart as you discover your likes, dislikes, passions, irritations, etc. You will need to put your relationship in the hands of God and constantly work and trust that you can and will do this.

Don't be afraid to fight. I'd much rather fight about every little thing than ignore each other and have no passion in our marriage! And sometimes you go to bed angry. Don't freak out! Let me explain. If it's late, and you're both tired, many times the fight will go on and become irrational. It serves you both well to rest and take it on in the morning when you both feel rested and calm. Let the little things go- sometimes issues are just not big enough to worry or bother you. When these come up, simply agree to disagree and move on. These things do not have to weigh down your marriage. And don't forget to DATE EACH OTHER. This whirlwind relationship has given you little time to enjoy being together and dating! Go on dates, vacations, and invest in each other. It will not be wasted time, I guarantee you that.

This is not intended to discourage you in any way, but to ENCOURAGE you to never give up on your new husband. He is handsome, quirky, and ridiculous in his shorty-shorts. He is loving, comforting, and giving. I have seen these things just in a the past few weeks. He has every ability to seek God and direct and lead you and your family. He will be a great husband.

Hahna, I love you. I will miss your goofy phone calls, your clothes, and the way you look at my child. I know how much you love her. I will miss late-night FRIENDS and gelato. I will miss cereal at 10pm (we haven't done it in awhile, but it was great!). I will miss going shopping and getting caught outside of the "clearance" racks. I will miss dancing crazy at weddings with you (we still have one more!). I will miss you.

I am so grateful that you found someone to love so fiercely, and I know that you will thrive and flourish in your life as a military wife. And remember that THE BEST IS YET TO COME! I can attest to that just over the course of 5 years. If you think it's good now, just wait. I love you!

Congrats Mr. and Mrs. Dallas Cannon!

 "Where you go I’ll go. Where you stay I’ll stay. Your people will be my people. Your God will be my God. Where you die I’ll die. And there my body will be buried. I won’t let anything except death separate you from me. If I do, may the Lord punish me greatly.”

Ruth 1: 16-17 

The Postpartum Body (Weight Loss & More)

This is a tough subject to write about. It's tough personally, too. How many of you are struggling with your weight, shape, or size after birth? Yeah, join the club.

I shed MOST of the weight, but there is a still a little bit hanging on that stubbornly won't move. When I was breastfeeding, I kept hearing the the weight just falls off. It didn't. Then I heard that many women don't lose until after they stop breastfeeding. It still held on. Now, I eat relatively healthy. I don't buy all organic or eat enough veggies, but I cook just about every day and make sure the carb/protein/veggie ratio is about right. But I don't avoid desserts when we're out, and I occasionally splurge on a Starbucks drink. Even better, I'll enjoy a beer with my husband or margaritas with the girls. I've always embraced the phrase "Don't be so healthy that you're no fun to be around". 

Now, this is no jab at those who choose a healthier lifestyle that what I do, it's simply getting my own thoughts out on paper (or computer...whatever). When I can talk through something, I come out with a clearer head and feeling more confident. I do workouts when I can, but honestly sometimes I am so tired from attempting to run a SUPER busy household as smoothly as possible! Sometimes the last thing I want to do is workout- I would prefer sitting on my couch and watching FRIENDS, because I just spent two hours ironing every piece of clothing my husband owns- while trying to keep the baby from pulling on the cord...Sometimes I just want to relax! There. I said it. I'm also not willing to lose precious time with my daughter or husband. And this is with one child. For those of you who have more, God bless your little souls.

My good friend Abbey just gave birth 10 days ago to her 5th baby. And what a beautiful, perfect, inspiring birth it was. I love what she has always told me. In my own words, she said "Kids don't want a mommy with a hard body. They want a mommy that they can cuddle into and squish into and climb up on a warm comfy lap. They want your arms and chest to be soft enough to use as pillows". She is a healthy woman, and she knows that there is plenty of time to get a 'perfect' body once her kids are bigger. And she's not beating herself up over her 10-day postpartum body...right Abbey???

I do plan on having more children. That is no excuse to not be healthy or active or "in shape", but it is a realization that my body will change again, many times, as it creates children, carries them, delivers them, nourishes them, chases them, etc. I don't want my mind, or yours, to have a 'perfect' body in mind, because it may disappoint us as it changes to cater to little human beings.

My husband has always said that he is not ever interested in plastic surgery. He still says this, 8 years later, and with a wife who has a very different body than the 17-year-old he fell in love with. Because of this, I know that this is my NEW body. He loves me for who I am. He wants me to be healthy and active, and we have decided that we want to teach our children these habits- not necessarily working out or dieting. We want to go on bike rides, play sports, and hike together. And the only requirement he has ever asked of me is that I can "keep up" with him. Regardless of my shape or size, he just wants a partner to go through life with.

The purpose of this post is to say this: DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP. I have done this for far too long already, comparing myself to other mothers, reading my scale, crying over the fact that I want a piece of birthday cake, but I really 'shouldn't' have it. I'm tired of this. I have hidden my scale, and it won't come out for a long time.


So mamas, be healthy. Be Active. Diet if you want to (not if it affects your family negatively though). Work out when and if you can. But don't make this who you are. JJ Heller (a Christian recording artist) recently wrote on her Facebook page "I just went to the gym and I caught myself starting to believe that working out and being fit is the ultimate priority. I was stunned how much my environment was affecting me. I'm glad the Lord brought me back to my senses!". She is a gorgeous mother of two little girls. 

Remember who you are.

(Shout out to my Mama- who always quoted this Lion King quote to us when we left her presence!)

The Birth of Amelia Genevieve- From an Onlooker's Point of View!

First of all, I have to say this: there is no one that births a baby like Abigail does. She makes the experience look effortless and almost enticing. You don’t believe me.

In 2012, I was 3 months pregnant when I attended the birth of Elijah Patrick, her third child. It was mid-morning on St. Patrick’s Day when I received the call that her water had broken. Since the baby was a couple weeks early, her sisters and mother were not around, so I filled the void. As Abigail and her husband Joshua headed to the hospital, I puttered around doing other things until it was time for me to join them. I arrived at the hospital mid-afternoon and Abigail was sitting next to the hospital bed on her birthing ball, just rocking back and forth and having light conversation with us. No one would know she was in labor!

As the contractions picked up, she received her epidural and was put into the bed to rest and let her body progress. In the evening, she was a little frustrated that her labor had already been over 8 hours (actually a long time compared to her 2 previous births!). Josh and I did our best to distract her with FRIENDS trivia, funny questions, and a little bit of dozing. My husband showed up shortly after and brought dinner. After a little while, Abigail told her nurse “I’m feeling pressure. Will you check me?”. Daniel and I politely left the room. Not two minutes later, we heard a newborn cry down the hall. I looked at my husband and said “Oh! A new baby just got here!” (my pregnant hormones did not help). Little did we know, that little baby was Elijah! 

As soon as Abigail was checked, the baby was crowning, and in another second he was out! I ran into the room in a flurry of nurses frantically working and Abigail sitting in the bed smiling and laughing with a screaming newborn on her chest. No doctor was in sight. He did not make it! In fact, Joshua had to partially deliver the baby- there was no time for gloves, lights, or pushing. It was amazing! My husband looked at me and said “Wow, that was easy. Are you sure you don’t want an easy hospital birth?”.

When Abigail texted me a few weeks ago that she wanted me to be present for the birth of her fourth child, I was so giddy. I had since delivered my own baby in a grueling 67 hour labor with many hiccups and roadblocks that you can read here. I knew the way in which this woman brought life to earth so beautifully, and I felt honored to be a part of it again, and was hoping for some healing from my own traumatic experience. I got it.

On Sunday morning, July 21st, I awoke to the sound of my baby cooing and I looked at my phone and saw that I had a text from Abigail (actually Josh) at 5am. She was in labor! Her water had already broken and they were at the hospital. I plucked my baby out of her crib, grabbed a bottle and yelled to my husband who was in the shower “Abbey is in labor!”. Because of her last birthing experience, I knew there may not be much time! I was so excited and flustered that I couldn’t figure out what to wear, so I just walked around aimlessly for awhile. My husband said “Babe, you’re not having a baby, Abbey is”. Because of course, it’s all about me, right? After sending my husband off to church, I packed the baby in the car, dropped her off to my sister for the day (I thought), grabbed a coffee from Starbucks, and hurried to the hospital.

I arrived at 8:35am. When I walked into the room, Abigail was laying peacefully in the bed hooked up to all sorts of IVs and monitors- the beauty of hospital birth. Her right arm was swollen unnaturally- apparently the nurse had misplaced her first IV! We made fun of her “Cankle” arm and she updated me on her progress. Joshua was sitting in the corner filling out paperwork that he kept complaining about (“why do they need to know this!?”) and Abigail’s mother was making small talk with us and the nurses. When Abigail arrived at the hospital (5am?), she quickly dilated to 5cm. By the time I got there, she was dilated to 8. We knew it would be soon.

Ready for baby!

 A short and bubbly nurse named Kathy entered the room and introduced herself to me. She checked Abbey’s vitals and said that baby looked great. Abigail was laying on her side with the peanut ball in between her knees. Kathy, Abigail’s mom Donna, and I exchanged some birth stories and baby stats. The day was overcast, muggy, and rainy. A day just like Elijah’s birth-day. I had too much coffee, no food, and I was jittery and anxious!

At 9am, Abigail told the nurse that she was feeling pressure and wanted to be checked. I remembered clearly that the last time this happened, I was jipped out of seeing a birth! I knew better this time! Kathy checked Abigail and said “Oh, you’re complete!”. Then there was a flurry of different nurses coming in and out of the room bringing the scale, buckets, sheets, pulling lights out, removing the bottom of the bed, and calling the doctor over the intercom. Joshua was now a nervous wreck, pacing the room and asking every person who entered “are you the doctor?” to which they would always say “no, I’m a nurse”. Then he looked at Abigail and said “I can see the head! I can see her hair!”. Abigail laughed and told her to calm down. Her mom was looking also, and announced that the baby had curly dark hair- and lots of it. I said “really!?!?” and Abigail said “Aubrey, it’s ok- you can look”. I mustered my courage and moved my eyes down to see a sweet little dark head waiting to come out!

They continued to page the doctor with no success. After Kathy had set some things up, she stood between Abigail’s legs and said “I’m not moving, because if I do Joshua is going to have to deliver this baby”. When she said that, Abigail smiled and laughed, to which Kathy replied “Don’t! Don’t laugh, don’t cough, don’t sit up. This baby is coming”. At that moment, we all watched as the baby’s head slowly started bulging. If you’ve ever witnessed a birth, you know that the moment you glimpse that baby coming out, you can’t look away. It feels like the closest thing to witnessing a miracle directly from the hand of God.

Without looking away, Kathy calmly asked if the doctor was coming. The baby didn’t stop moving. We watched as her head slid out slowly and perfectly- Abigail’s body opening up to release this sweet baby just as a woman’s body is intended to do. When her head was out, Kathy gently grabbed her neck and yelled “nevermind!” to the nurses behind her because there was no time for a doctor. At that moment, a doctor who was in the hall ran in and stood behind Kathy as she delivered. Kathy said “give me a tiny push Abigail”, and the rest of the baby’s body slid out swiftly and a moment later baby Amelia was on Abigail’s chest. She was a little purple and gurgly, figuring out how to take her first few breaths. She cried in that heavenly newborn voice and we all breathed a sigh of relief, cheered, snapped pictures, and even shed some tears. Her sweet little cry sounded just like her brother’s.

It was 9:16am. I know because someone said “What time is it? Look at the clock on the monitor”. I was the closest one and announced it proudly. It made me feel like I had some part in this thrilling story. We watched her as she was weighed and swaddled, Daddy held her, more pictures were snapped, and finally given back to mommy for some skin-to-skin. When she was in her daddy’s arms, I said hello and her brand-new eyes turned to me. My heart melted at that moment. 

Later that day in church (Abigail delivered early enough for me to pick up my babe and make it!), Trev spoke about moving on from wounds and allowing them to become scars. Scars are reminders of what we have been through, but they no longer hurt or define us. I felt as if Abigail’s awe-inspiring birth helped to heal my wound and create a scar instead. Obviously I do not birth the graceful way that she does- but it instilled courage in my spirit that I may, at some point, be able to do it again.

Isaiah 43:18-19 says “See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland”. In Pastor Trev’s words, sometimes you have been “body slammed” in life, and you mourn over your failures. Then God comes and says “how long are you going to mourn? I know where you’ve been, now let’s move on”. In other words, let’s let some healing happen and turn that wound into a scar.

I don’t want to make this birth story about me, but it was important to address the fact that Abigail not only gave life that stormy morning, but she provided healing for a friend. 

Proud parents!

The first time Abbey's mom witnessed a grandchild's birth!

Kathy, the nurse who delivered Amelia

 Later in the afternoon, I went back to the hospital to visit little Amelia and hold her for the first time. She had that delicious newborn smell (you know what I mean?) and the sweetest little lips and nose. Since Joshua and Abigail have decided that this will be their last baby (#5), everyone seems to be devouring every moment with her. Little Amelia Genevieve, thank you for healing my heart and sharing your birth with me. You have absolutely the best mommy a kid could ask for, and I am eager to watch you grow and learn along with your siblings. 

Amelia Genevieve Gorman

July 21st, 2013

9:16am

7lbs 8oz, 19 1/2 inches