An Intimate Mother's Blessing Ceremony

Hi All! This is the post you've been waiting for... and I've been waiting for!

  DISCLAIMER: There are LOTS of pictures. You've been warned!

What is a Mother's Blessing? It was first called a 'blessingway' by the Navajo nation who created a ceremony to usher pregnant women into motherhood. According to thebump.com "A mother's blessing is meant to inspire and encourage the expectant mom just before she gives birth to baby".

Here's how this happened. I have never planned or taken part in a Mother's Blessing before, but I had heard of them and I was intrigued. I have a mama tribe- it's a group of women who all met and/or birthed at the same birth center, and have grown close over the last 2 years of our children's lives. Many of these women are on their way to become mothers for the second time! That was the case here. My dear friend Sharon is pregnant with her second child. Sharon is not your typical woman or high-strung mother.. she is soft-spoken, relaxed, gentle, and extremely caring. If I have a runny nose, she shows up with soup and snacks. When I was recovering, she brought an entire care package complete with gifts for the hubs and baby as well. Anyone who knows Sharon loves and adores her.

A couple weeks ago, I got a call from her hubby who wanted to see if we had anything planned to celebrate her before the new baby came. Since Sharon is not the baby shower type, we knew what was just right for her spiritual, laid back, hippie self. I told him to give me the night to talk to my mommy friends and I would get back to him. And sure thing, everyone was on board.

Michelle handled all of the food arrangements and money. Krisann took care of most of the decor. I planned the ceremony, location, and the logistics with her hubby. We decided to make it a surprise, since she usually figures things out (that's the investigator in her). And guess what!?! It worked.

We decided to spend a little money on great food, a professional photographer to document the event, and a henna artist. The BEST decisions we ever made. Here's how our Mother's Blessing went down...

First, let's start with details....

Sharon's arrival at the house to her friends waiting for her!

We started with a few pictures together after the "surprise" of Sharon arriving.

Then we moved to food. Oh, the food...We had flatbread pizzas, bruchetta, salad, fruit, nuts, meats, cheeses, chocolates, sparking water (WITH edible flowers!) and wine. LOTS of wine (courtesy of Private Pour.... review to come soon!). It was a heavenly feast!

During our feasting, the henna artist started her masterpiece on Sharon's belly while we talked birth stories and laughed together. And don't worry, we fed her.

When we had our fill, we started the ceremony, which we held outside under the stars. What a beautiful night it was! And because Sharon and I share the same faith, I put a lot of Jesus into the ceremony :).

As each woman stepped outside, we greeted them with a hand washing and the phrase "let your burdens wash away and bring in with you love and support".

Once we were all seated, we began the candle lighting. We had asked each woman beforehand to bring with them a pillar candle and something to say about/to Sharon. As we went around the circle, each woman lit her candle and spoke into Sharon's heart. We laughed and cried together!

            

 (Sidenote: these candles will go back home with each guest and they will light it when Sharon is laboring to remind us to think and pray for her!)

After the candle ceremony, each woman was asked to pick up a stone and a pen from the table and write one word on the stone that she wished for Sharon's labor. We then shared what our word was and why, and placed the stones into a glass vase for Sharon to take home.

The next part was just fun for us all. We filled a cup with warm tea and passed it around the circle. As each woman took a sip, she said "I am strong. I am powerful. I am beautiful". Throughout the evening we all found that we needed this nice little break from our busy lives, and the reminder that we are all of these things. It was neat to watch each woman's eyes as she recited it!

As a symbol of our unity, we then wrapped yarn around each woman's wrist to create a circle- a circle of support and friendship. 1 Peter 3:8 says "Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble". We also had a few of the


,m    women recite meaningful poems during this time.

Once we were all connected, we snipped the yarn and each tied it around our wrists. This little bracelet is also a reminder to continue to pray for Sharon as her birth approaches.

And to finish the night, we all laid hands on Sharon and prayed. The ceremony was created to move from love for Sharon to hopes for her birth, and finished with uniting us all as friends and mothers.

Oh, and throughout the ceremony we all paid a quick visit (literally 45 seconds) to the henna artist to each get our own little henna creation!

Once the ceremony was over and hugs were given (and a great speech from the guest of honor), we headed inside for dessert! Let me tell you, these mamas can PARTY. Just kidding, we were all tired by 9, but we pushed through!

As Sharon headed home, we hope that she left feeling loved, peaceful and ready for the journey ahead. We hope she feels supported and confident that she is not alone.

And to the ladies who attended, thank you for all of your help and thoughtfulness. We could not have pulled this off without your amazing food, participation, time, and words. I know we all left feeling more connected. And floaty and dreamy!

If you're interested in having or throwing a Mother's Blessing, feel free to contact me! The great thing about these ceremonies is that they can really be whatever you want. Spiritual or not, long or short, serious or light-hearted. As long as the mother-to-be leaves feeling peaceful, supported, and united with her loved ones, you have accomplished your goal.

Thanks for hanging in there with this LONG post! I hope you enjoyed it.

For awesome photography, check out Jenn at ishootpeopleaz.com.

For creative henna, visit www.hennabypurvi.com

For private wine parties and tastings, email Michelle at michelle@privatepour.com

And for the fabulous homemade dreamcatcher, visit Moonlit Lace on Facebook or Instagram!

Another Recovery Update!

I am about 11 weeks post-surgery now. I saw the surgeon a couple weeks ago and she was thrilled and said that I was healing well. She also said that I am 95% healed! Woah, I didn't expect that!

Since that day, I have been able to return to most of my "normal" life activities. Which is good, because we are moving (more on that later) and as we come up on holidays and family visits, I want to be able to enjoy my time. Every day that goes by, I can't believe how far away from surgery I am. And I can't believe I actually faced my fears and did it!

I also started physical therapy a few weeks ago. No, don't get grossed out. It's mainly pelvic floor exercises and core strengthening. Since all of those muscles are attached to each other and to the tailbone area, they all work together to strengthen and heal me. Plus, since the surgery met our insurance deductible, I'm doing anything and everything I can for me and Pips before the end of the year!

What is interesting though, is how all of this has worked out. Without going into much detail, I'll explain. My worse fear has always been something going wrong or having to have surgery "down there". Well, it happened. And then when I started PT I still didn't want anything "down there", and I am working with a woman who specializes in women's health and is willing to do as much as I will let her to make sure I heal not only physically, but mentally and emotionally as well.

Discussing all of this with my Mom, she was beyond herself with excitement that God had worked it out this way. She said that not only was God walking beside me and healing me through this whole process, but he is making me WHOLE again. He has not left me to deal with the healing and move forward with fear. He has made me new and renewed my spirit as well. It's been so amazing! It's like I can hear him saying to me "No I'm not going to just heal you, I'm going to make you BETTER than you've ever been".

This has been quite the journey. I am constantly trying to stay teachable and mold-able for whatever lies ahead. Every day I feel thankful for my recovery and the healing that has taken place. I found a neat group of women who have all had similar experiences and surgeries as well, and many of them have had up to 7 SURGERIES to repair what I had (Eeek! I said HAD!).

Although I am not in the clear completely, many surgeries "break down" or fail within the first few weeks, and I have not had ANY symptoms. My surgeon feels confident that the surgery was successful and I am healed! She did say that because my body is not the way that God created it any longer, my body could experience "aging issues" at an earlier age than may be normal, but there is no way to tell until we are there. That's fine with me!

In the meantime, I am trying to live every day feeling healed. Sometimes I forget that I even had surgery, and that is a huge deal for something that has constantly been on my brain for 2 years! I still have some road ahead of me and some healing (like healing those dang nerves!), but I know it will come. God has not forgotten me, and I am reminded of that every day!

And just for the fun of it, here is a pciture of me being prepped for surgery...11 WEEKS AGO! Those hospital nurses really make you look glamorous :).

Pushing the Reset Button

Yesterday was an interesting day. Pip woke up way too early, and I quickly discovered that it was a meltdown down. Being 2 years old is hard! These are not uncommon days, but today, TODAY was a bad day for it.

I had a million errands to run and an awesome event to plan for that night. I was excited, but busy and a little stressed to get it all done on time. And having a not-so-happy toddler did not help. It wasn't even 8am and I could feel myself already feeling frustrated with her and having very little patience for her little heart.She insisted in wearing goofy socks and clunky shoes that I dislike, but I quickly decided to drop the matter and said to myself "fine, I'm not willing to die on this hill".

As we jumped into the car to head to the grocery store for our first of many stops, I let out a deep breath and threw out a little prayer that sounded something like "God help me to get everything done and help my toddler to be happy!". Just then I remembered a sweet little reading from a blog that I follow. She has 3 kiddos and one morning was running very late for preschool and feeling rushed and frustrated. She decided to stop, turn on some music, dance with her kids in the living room and reset the mood for the day. She let go of being late, and let go of her frustration- and in turn her children reacted positively and also began to choose joy.

Well, we were already in the car and headed to the store, so I decided to come up with something to "reset" our day as well and get us on the right track. Being tired and busy, our reset looked like this:

Yes, she is eating a donut with sprinkles and a chocolate milk. But look how happy she is! We sat at the Starbucks inside Fry's and ate donuts and talked and laughed for about 20 minutes. I set aside my phone and my to-do list and just enjoyed the reset. And for the first time, I looked around and didn't care if I was being judged for feeding my kid a donut. No one knew why, and no one else knew about our reset. It felt good to just sit there and enjoy each other's company for a few minutes.

The rest of the morning she was relatively happy and dealt well with the many errands we ran. I think our reset worked. So if you are just having a bad day, try to slow down and start over in whatever way works for your family. You won't regret it!

I will be posting a post-surgery update soon- thank you for the prayers and thoughts!
And as for the awesome event, I will write a post on it soon. But just to tease you....

There might have been a little of this....

 And a lot of this....

Can't wait to share!